It started not with a bang, but a whimper.
Not with a midlife crisis, but with a storm in the distance. Quiet. Slow. Heavy. Like the calm before everything shifts.
I like to use my birthdays to reflect on who I am, where I am, who I was, and where I was.
I used to compare myself to others or those around me. It always left me feeling sad, depressed, or behind. But honestly, I’m happy with where I am.
I’m 40. I’m divorced. No wife. No kids. No house.
And yet, I’m okay.
Some people chase what they were told to want, never stopping to ask themselves if it’s actually what they want.
Me? I’ve had to rebuild my life a few times, from cornerstone to shingle. I’ve learned that being at peace with who you are matters more than what you have.
I’ve made mistakes. I’ve hurt people. I’ve said the worst things in moments of anger.
But I’ve learned. I’ve done my damndest to change past habits. To learn to listen instead of lash out.
To sit in silence while surrounded by noise.
I’ve stopped expecting people to be versions of themselves that only exist in my head.
I’ve tried to let go of the idea that I know what’s best for someone else.
It’s not easy. Especially when you care.
But I’d rather support someone’s truth than control their path.
Everyone’s figuring it out in their own way.
And I’ve come to believe that love—real love—means letting them.
Whether it’s my friends, my coworkers, or the people around me, I want them to feel free to live however they feel called to.
I might not agree with every choice, but I’ll always defend their right to live the life that feels true to them.
That’s how I try to live. That’s what I try to show those I care about.
The world is loud lately.
Political noise. Cultural battles. Everyone yelling and pointing fingers.
You can’t control it all. But I can control me.
I try to be a good person. I try to be kind.
I believe people should live as they want as long as they’re not hurting anyone.
I believe in love. I believe in loyalty. I believe in being your authentic self.
Above all else, I’ve believed in one thing since I was 19:
Follow your heart.
It doesn’t always make sense. Sometimes your heart will tell you to leap when your gut says to stay still.
But in my experience, your heart knows the truth, even when your brain hasn’t caught up.
And when the storm comes, because it always does, I don’t run anymore.
I face it.